I have been thinking a bit about what helps people struggling with a problematic relationship/ addiction to drugs, alcohol or other substances, compulsive behaviours such as gambling, or out-of-control use of pornography?

What important ingredients are there that help people find and maintain lasting addiction recovery *?

When it comes to compulsive/addictive use of substances and/or behaviours, one ingredient that is the focus of a lot of research and discourse is Motivation.  Yes, I believe that motivation is a hugely important part of the change process.  

But something important that seems to receive less attention is HOPE… and without hope a person can stay in a place of helplessness, perceived powerlessness, despair, addiction and compulsivity.

When someone who is struggling has low levels of hope, their motivation erodes, their shame increases, and recovery becomes something that is possible “for others” rather than “for me”.

If someone believes they can’t recover, they don’t have hope that recovery is possible for them, that in itself is hopeless.

Where does this lack of hope come from?  For some it might be an unrealistic (for now) definition of what recovery is or needs to be.  Or countless attempts at something that they don’t yet have the tools or support (or HOPE) to achieve.  Lapse and relapse is often related to low (or no) levels of hope.

With the above in mind, it becomes clear that setting realistic goals, and getting the tools and support needed to make progress, are essential in establishing and maintaining recovery and HOPE.

I have never yet met anyone who is actually hopeless.  More often it is that they haven’t found a way that works for them.  They might be supportless, or toolless, or missing some other vital addiction recovery ingredient.  But in my experience they are not hopeless, even if they feel they are.

“Only in the darkness can you see the stars”

Martin Luther King Jr

A good way of increasing personal hope is to think about and connect with any past successes that you have achieved.  Remember and connect with that capable part of you.  

Ask yourself:

What unhelpful beliefs are you holding in relation to you and your recovery?   Is there a chance that they might not be completely true?

Can you set some realistic recovery goals and achieve small steps towards them, and then notice that progress, enjoy that progress?

If you are still struggling to find your hope, your self-belief, a helpful way forward is often to reach out and see if someone might be able to help you find it.  

For anyone that has lost their hope – it’s there, there is hope.

If you can’t find it, reach out to others that can help you find it.

What one thing can YOU do today to increase your hope?

I hope this has been helpful to you.

 

Andrew Harvey, FD (Open),  MBACP (Accred), AP APM Psychotherapeutic Counsellor  

 

*Addiction Recovery and what that means is very individual I feel.  For some it might be abstinence, for others it might be harm reduction, or a less harmful relationship with substances and/or behaviours. I believe it is important that people find a recovery that is both attainable and life enhancing for them individually.